So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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