he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
