Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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