If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
