I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
well, you know. whores of a feather.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
