I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I got chris browned last night
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
