White coat. Heels.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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