It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So much rum. So many feels.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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