I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
