Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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