nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
