Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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