After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
