my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
