....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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