brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
