I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
