It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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