OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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