I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
