I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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