So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
