Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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