does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
