I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
