would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
