She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
