We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
