how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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