'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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