im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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