I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
