playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
