who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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