what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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