Umm I'm too high to move.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
