She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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