for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
