she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
