I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
