I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
