Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
