If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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