He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
