i was born a porn star she said
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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