So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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