Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
