i think my mom watched the whole time
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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