sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
