I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
