My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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