i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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