last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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