So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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