Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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