Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
